It Takes a Village

            I’ve always questioned the phrase “it takes a village” when referring to raising a child until now. I thought it was melodramatic to infer that a child required so many different people to raise them but looking back on my own experiences I realize how wrong I was. Two parents are not enough to raise a healthy child and one teacher is not enough to educate a child either. Education requires a community effort from teachers to coaches, counselors, friends, and parents. Everyone that is in the child’s life has an effect on not only their wellbeing but their education as well. By forming a supportive environment for each and every child, we can reduce all sorts of conditions such as behavioral problems, anxiety, and depression. These conditions distract students from the material we are trying to teach and become the central focus of the their young lives. With a community of support, each student will have somewhere to go to get answers or someone to talk to about their problems so when it comes time to learn something in the classroom, they are ready and willing. It also adds to the point that many of the UTEC students referred to: it will show them we care. By providing support for our students, we can show them that we care about their wellbeing and what is going on in their lives.

            Support is sometimes a tricky thing to provide. The simplest way to provide support for someone is listening. All it takes sometimes are open ears to help someone. It can also mean being available after school, playing games with students at lunch, attending games, or participating in community events such as bake sales. It may also mean bringing in breakfast to a morning class or setting aside time each week to discuss real world issues. For example, the Trayvon Martin case has been all over the news lately and has caused quite a stir across the country in regards to race and the justice system. Teenagers, the same age as Martin, may not know how to feel about these events and require a safe environment to discuss them. Opening up a weekly class discussion about big and small events in the students live will not only help them form their own support system but it will encourage them to speak up.

            I was lucky growing up. I had a wonderful support system in place long before I entered school. I had an educated and caring mother along with a few great friends and a big family. My mother was involved with town politics when I was twelve. Due to her public status, I was always asked about school or horseback riding or just my day. Police officers and firefighters would frequently wave to me or buy me a coffee in the morning. Since my mother became engaged in the town and even the school, I also became involved in the town. My town also published the honor roll in the paper each term. Every time my name appeared in the paper, I would hear congratulations for a week. Everyone was involved in not only my schooling but my wellbeing as well. It was definitely a very positive environment to grow and learn in. 

Sex Education: A 21st Century Nightmare

Sex education is a hot topic, not because of the implied content, but because of the missing content. In schools across the United States, kids are being taught that abstinence is best and that sex is for adults. Kids then walk out of those classrooms with more questions than they started with. Why is sex prohibited to us? What is so dangerous or secretive about sex? Will it give me some answers if I do it? By denying kids answers to simple questions, we are creating a temptation. Nothing is as tempting as a good mystery. Kids are like little detectives, always seeking out the answers to difficult questions. The problem in the education systems is that we do not answer any questions kids may have about sex. We should be teaching kids not only what sex is but why it is important to either wait or use protection. Teen pregnancy is a major issue in public schools. For some schools like Gloucester, teen pregnancy is so normal that they have a day care center in the school. I think another part of the problem is that we are not teaching kids what it means to be pregnant. We are giving them some biological look at what it means to be pregnant but that means nothing to them without some context. As part of sex ed, we should be talking about pregnancy and why it is better to be older. Giving students an egg to take care of for a week hardly qualifies as a wakeup call. Schools are still giving kids eggs or dolls to take care of as if that will somehow provide them with insight. Many kids take care of pets and therefore do not see the connection.

When I was in sixth grade, I remember they gave us an egg to take care of for one week. With the teacher’s signature on the bottom of the egg, there was no way to replace it if we broke it. It was so simple that I nearly forgot about that egg. I had placed it in a basket in my closet each day after school. I never really connected the activity with the message. I believe they were trying to teach me something about being responsible for something (or someone) else but it did not register. I think these "G rated" safe ways of showing kids what it means to be responsible for someone else are a joke. They are a way for the adults in the kids’ lives to get out of really talking to their kids. Many adults shy away from the sex talk and prefer to let the schools handle that sort of thing but thankfully for me my mother was not shy. She sat me down when I was twelve years old and said "In many cultures you are old enough to bear children and have a family, so you therefore are old enough to know what it means to be a woman." She proceeded to describe to me, in detail, my organs and men's organs, and what sex was, and what pregnancy was like, and what it was like to have a baby. At first, it was a horrifying conversation but as we progressed, I found it to be one of the best conversations I've ever had with my mother. 

I had a friend in high school that was not as lucky as I was. Her parents left the sex talk to the school thinking that they would handle any questions she might have. She had the same sixth grade egg class as me and of course she did not take anything away from it either. She dated a boy all through high school and was lucky that he was a smart cookie. He insisted on protection and even offered to pay for birth control if she ever wanted it. They broke up the summer before senior year and she ended up having a one night stand a few weeks after the break up. She was heartbroken and in her sadness made the worst decision of her life. She turned up pregnant eight weeks later. She managed to graduate high school, but barely. I remember feeling so awful going off to college while she sat home with a newborn. Her story is not as sad as it seems though. She loved her son and ended up marrying the guy. They have two kids now and seem very happy. She got lucky. Her parents were extremely supportive and helped pay for all the expenses. Not all teens that get pregnant get that kind of support.